Are you the type to forgive and forget or do you hold a grudge and plot sweet revenge?
Most of us have a story about a colleague, boss or someone else we’ve encountered in our work lives that did us wrong. They might have taken credit for your work or even sabotaged you. Perhaps they excluded you from work cliques or their actions had negative consequences on a project that was important to you.
The problem with holding a grudge and staying angry is that the person who suffers most is YOU. You’re the one left with negative emotions and thoughts taking up valuable head space and holding you back.
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So, here’s how to forgive someone who’s done you wrong in the workplace…
Forgive because none of us are perfect.
We all mistakes and as much as we like to think of ourselves as “good” people, we all mess up sometimes. I encourage you to think back to a time when you (knowingly or unknowingly) got it wrong. When you messed up, did you hope to get someone’s forgiveness?
You never know what someone is going through.
It tends to be pretty rare that people invest energy into trying to screw us over. What’s more likely is that someone is dealing with things in their own lives that make them act in a way that hurts you.
Did a colleague fail to give you credit for helping them on a big project? Maybe they’re worried about losing their job and paying their bills or feeling like they’re not good enough. Have compassion and consider what might be going on behind the scenes.
To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
Holding a grudge also means hanging onto and building negative energy around yourself. Forgiving someone releases you from the negativity and tension both mentally and physically. It’s probably causing you more damage to yourself than you realise! Instead of investing in the negativity, work on forgiving and letting go and you’re likely to see things improve for you.
When you forgive, you start walking forward.
Ask yourself – “does holding a grudge or feeling hurt by this person bring you CLOSER or FURTHER away from what you really, truly want in life?”
If the answer is further, then it’s time to forgive, move on and live a good life.
I know this is easier said than done and forgiveness can take time. So, if you need a little help to get you on the right path – just remember this quote: “Living well is the best revenge”.
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