040: How to Simplify the 5 Love Languages – with Dr Gary Chapman

By November 20, 2018The Simplifiers Podcast

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I’m willing to bet you’ve either heard someone mention “The 5 Love Languages” recently, or you’ve read the book, or you’ve given the book as a wedding gift to a beloved friend. This book has taken the world by storm, remaining on the New York Times bestseller list consistently since 2009!


My guest, Dr Gary Chapman, shares his brilliant framework for understanding how people give and receive love.

Dr Gary Chapman is the author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts® and many other books.

In this episode, you will learn:

  • More about the 5 Love Languages:
    • Words of Affirmation
    • Quality Time
    • Receiving Gifts
    • Acts of Service
    • Physical Touch
  • How you can tell which your primary love language is
  • Why it’s important to ‘keep our love tank full’
  • What couples can do when they are drifting apart
  • What some couples believe about marriage and relationships that simply isn’t true
  • How you can share the love languages with a partner who has a different belief system
  • How you can apply these principles at work and in your family

Dr. Chapman is an absolute delight. He’s funny, down-to-earth and shares so much wisdom in this episode. I hope it brings a smile to your face, and offers you a compass to help navigate tricky relationships this season.

I can only hope that I’ll be this bright, warm and full of sparkle at age 81 like he is.


My challenge for you this week:

Make a mental note of what your nearest and dearest ask from you, what they respond well to, and what they complain about. Can you discover their ‘love language’ and start speaking it more often?

Share it with me, privately or publicly, by snapping a photo of you doing the thing and tag @thesimplifiers on Instagram for added accountability and support!

Links, books and apps mentioned:

Book: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts® – Dr Gary Chapman

Book: The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace – Dr Gary Chapman & Paul White

Radio podcast: Building Relationships – featuring Dr Gary Chapman

Quiz: Take the FREE 5 Love Languages Online quiz

Favorite quotes from this episode:

[16:36] “It does take effort, but when you do it, it touches the other person immensely, fills their love tank, and if they reciprocate with your love language, your love tank fills up. You hardly miss the euphoria because you still feel emotionally connected to each other.” – Gary

[18:01] “When you start drifting, [people] always drift apart. We’d never drift together. You have to put the oars in the water if you’re going to stay together. And that’s why it’s so important to keep the emotional bond between the husband and wife.” – Gary

[22:45] “The greatest gift we can give to another person is the feeling of connection and love. And that’s everything.” – Mary

[25:14] “What I say to parents is not the question – do you love your children? The question is, do your children feel loved?” – Gary

[32:35] “If you see your spouse always giving gifts, you can assume that receiving gifts is their language. Or if they’re always giving words of encouragement to other people, you can assume that’s their love language. If they’re the kind of person that likes to spend an hour and a half at lunch talking to a friend, you could assume quality time is their language.” – Gary

Finish strong!

I’d like to remind you to get your 90-minute private coaching call scheduled with me, so you can finish the year strong!

We are running a special deal in the month of November and December 2018 to get a 90-minute 1-1 business coaching call with me, where we’ll focus on 3 parts:

  • The first 30 minutes – reviewing how 2018 went for your business, celebrating your triumphs, reviewing your mishaps, and documenting your lessons learned.
  • The next 30 minutes – vision casting 2019 ahead, determining how you want to feel, setting your 1-word intention, and helping you identify your big quarterly business goals.
  • The final 30 minutes – creating a roadmap for the journey ahead, choosing to either focus on the final 5 steps you will take before the year end, or setting the first 5 steps to take in 2019 to have the Best Year Yet!

All the while, shifting your mindset and helping you get clarity and direction on how to simplify how you run your small business.

And when you have clarity and a roadmap to follow, you have peace of mind.

It’s time to SIMPLIFY.

Book your call today

Offer expires on Friday, December 7, 2018 at 11:59pm.

About Gary:

Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of the well-known book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts®. He has spoken to thousands of people around the world, helping couples learn how to nurture a healthy relationship with each other.

With a healthy dose of humor, Dr. Chapman gives valuable tips on breaking unhealthy patterns and choosing to develop healthy relationships.

Married for 50 years (to the same woman) and with 40 years of marriage counseling experience under his belt, Dr Chapman has a passion for people and helping them form lasting relationships.

Gary’s vote for the perfect guest on The Simplifiers Podcast:

Arlene Pellicane – blogger, speaker, author. Arlene joint-authored Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World, with Dr Gary Chapman.

Where Gary hangs out online:

Facebook: @5LoveLanguages

Website: 5lovelanguages.com

Video version of the episode

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