048: How to Have a Better Relationship with your Phone – with Arlene Pellicane

By January 15, 2019The Simplifiers Podcast

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This year, I’m rethinking quite a few things in my life. One of which is how I relate to my phone because let’s face it, that little rectangular buddy hangs out with me more than my own family does, in any given day… and I’m not sure that’s a good thing!


My guest, Arlene Pellicane simplifies how to have a better relationship with your phone, personally and professionally.

Arlene reminds us, “the phone provides an illusion of connection, but in reality, its overuse leads to isolation.”

If you’re itching to reshape a bad habit of checking your phone constantly, instead of plugging in to real-life, in-person connections, this one is specifically for you!

In this episode, you will learn:

  • How screens and technology have changed the way we relate with one another
  • How big of a problem this is, REALLY
  • How we can get back to ‘Calm, Cool, Connected’ through Arlene’s digital habits for a more balanced life:
    • H = Hold Down the Off Button (turn off technology at regular intervals)
    • A = Always Put People First (pivot away from your phone towards others)
    • B = Brush Daily (keep your reputation stellar by not posting rashly)
    • I = I Will Go Online With Purpose (stop wasting time and increase productivity instead)
    • T = Take a Hike (harness the power of nature to rejuvenate)
    • What role your spirituality could play in all of this

Arlene was recommended by Dr Gary Chapman, the author of the 5 Love Languages and I’m so glad he did. When we chatted on the podcast, Gary mentioned Arlene was the absolute expert on this subject. I loved our conversation together and I hope you’re able to integrate a few of her simple, practical tips so you can take back control of your screen time to simplify your life.

Dr Chapman has collaborated on a few books with Arlene and I have a feeling I’ll have her back again soon on the podcast! It was soooo good!


My challenge for you this week:

Can you keep track of how many times you can leave your phone in your bag while you are interacting with the people you are with? Can you keep your phone off for the first and last 15 minutes of your day? Decide on one thing that you can do, each day, to create a better relationship with your phone.

Share it with me, privately or publicly, by snapping a photo of you doing the thing and tag @thesimplifiers on Instagram for added accountability and support!

Links, books and apps mentioned:

Book: Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life – Arlene Pellicane

Book: Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked – Adam Alter

Radio show: Arlene featured on Focus on the Family Broadcast in the episode Unplugging yourself to connect with others on January 7th 2019.

Favorite quotes from this episode:

[20:15] “Am I using technology in a way that I value, in a way that lines up with my values?” – Arlene

[21:45] “There’s so many awesome, amazing, helpful, healthy things online, but there’s also a very dark side to the online world.” – Arlene

[22:44] “Core values to me are being connected in face-to-face ways and deeper ways, and knowing I’m making a positive impact on the world.” – Mary

[24:09] “Make sure you’re not wasting a lot of time and that you just don’t have too much mental candy in there.” – Arlene

[31:54] “Just those little restorative nature breaks, really help your physical health, but also your mental health and your spiritual health.” – Arlene

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About Arlene:

Arlene Pellicane is a speaker and author of several books including Parents Rising and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. She is also the co-author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (with Dr. Gary Chapman).

Today we’ll be talking about her book Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life. She has been a featured guest on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, and The 700 Club.

Arlene lives in San Diego with her husband James and their three children, Ethan, Noelle and Lucy.

Arlene’s vote for the perfect guest on The Simplifiers Podcast:

Marcia Ramsland – Organizing Coach for Business and Life Success, author of many books including Simplify Your Time: Stop Running and Start Living!

Where Arlene hangs out online:

Website: arlenepellicane.com

Facebook: @ArlenePellicaneAuthor

Instagram: @arlenepellicane

Video version of the episode

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