B056: How to keep going when you want to quit

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There is no failure unless you give up, so it’s important to have a game plan for the tough days. For those days when you want to throw it all down, and walk away, you need to keep going. Don’t quit, but get smart and decide how to spend your feminine energy.

Earlier this week, my conversation with Kate Northrup stirred something up inside me. For 41 years, if I’ve needed to ‘fight, flight, or freeze,’ my knee jerk reaction has been to ‘fight.’ Battle my way through it. Grit my teeth. Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Push, push, push!

Nevertheless, she persisted.

But all that pushing is downright exhausting. I mean, totally, utterly, mentally draining as well.

When Kate shared her wisdom that “Women run on a 28-day cycle and men run on a 24-hour cycle,” it sparked a new idea in me. Hang on a sec, what if this was true?

What if I was ‘push, push, pushing’ when I could be ‘flow, flow, flowing’ instead?

And that thought, albeit felt enlightening… also made me feel a bit like quitting.

Here, I share how I keep going when I want to quit.


3 simple tips on how to keep going when you want to quit

1. Check in

It’s all about checking in with your feelings. These ooey-gooey, vulnerable parts can swirl with negative thoughts, imposter syndrome, and/or fear.

In A Course in Miracles, it all comes down to determining if that thought comes from fear or love. And if it’s not love, then the next step is to diffuse the fear and get yourself back to a loving place, mind-body-spirit. So, the next time you’re triggered and feeling like quitting, I want you to do this instead.

Pull out your journal, set a 7-minute timer and ask yourself:

  • What am I feeling right now?
  • Is this thought rooted in fear or in love?
  • Do I (actually) believe it’s true?
  • And what would get me back to thriving?

When you journal it out, you diffuse the power of fear by gaining clarity.

In the book May Cause Miracles: A 40-Day Guidebook of Subtle Shifts for Radical Change and Unlimited Happiness, author Gabrielle Bernstein, states: “FEAR is simply False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Remember, you are not your thoughts. And, believe it or not, they might not be real.

2. Check out

When you’re:

  • About to throw in the towel
  • Feel like quitting everything
  • Have nagging feelings of grabbing the kerosene and burning it all to the ground…

I want you to do this one simple step first. Check out what’s really going on right now. Do this instead;

Imagine you’re a photographer with a super fancy lens. I want you to zoom way, way out from your situation, as if you’re up in the sky looking down at yourself.

My goodness, look at teeny-tiny you down there, getting all worked up over whatever ISH is in your life right now!

Imagine you can see the other players in this melodrama and what they’re doing as well. Before you decide to quit (this big, scary, super stressful situation), I encourage you to check out a different angle to gain more perspective.

Ask yourself: ‘What if the cause of your stress is other people projecting their fears onto you?’

If you grounded yourself, and didn’t take it personally, would the rest fall into place?

Maybe this big, scary, super stressful situation isn’t quite as monstrous as you once thought?

Zoom out, check out a different angle and then…

3. Try again

Standing tall in what you believe in, I want you to take the next step forward. And then the next one after that.

I know when I’m on the verge of quitting, it’s because my brain gets overwhelmed with the 80 billion steps that lie ahead.

It’s too much, too scary.

Too overwhelming.

Or I’m not sure I see the payoff of all this effort, so I quit. But when I laser-focus on the next step ahead, I regain my confidence that I’m on the right path.

I need to take this one step to keep going, to make forward progress. And then, do it again. And again.

But the key here is:

  • Knowing your core values
  • Knowing your end goal destination, and
  • Believing that you will get there, if you keep going.


And just one final whisper, just from me to you, dear friend… come in closer.

Can I be honest with you for a second?

I was at the gym this week and I (totally) felt like quitting my personal training. All this effort, all this working out and for what? The scales aren’t showing any real progress. My midsection seems to continue the peri-menopausal ‘rectangular spread.’ What the F??

Is it time to quit working out, hit the great big red F-it button, and sink my sorrows in a giant bowl of ice cream instead?

No. I persisted.

Instead, I checked in with the ooey-gooey vulnerable bit inside me, to check my motives:

  • Why am I working out so hard and so much?
  • What is it I’m looking to gain?
  • What if I could change the energy and effort from ‘fight’ to ‘flow’?
  • How could I give myself a little grace in this moment?

And I encourage you to do the same. If you’ve been a fighter all your life (like me), I want to give you permission to try something different, just for today.

Simply bring a little grace (a little feminine flow-energy) into your life. See if this helps you to ease up on the rigidness a little.

What if by making this one simple shift (instead of quitting all together) is the ticket? Go from fighting (to be seen/heard/appreciated) and replace it with a sense of calm. See if this can help you to step into your power, and go with the flow?

How does that change things? I know for me, it gives the cortisol in my brain a break and diffuses the fear, even a tiny bit.

Don’t quit.

Don’t give up. Keep going.

And give yourself a little grace along the way.

You can do this, I believe in you.

It’s time to SIMPLIFY.

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As always friends, keep things simple.

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