I’ve learned a lot from Brené Brown. Today, I’ll share the top 5 lessons from Brené’s speech at the Mom 2.0 Summit 2019.
What an incredible conference!
If you’re a content creator of any sort (blogging, podcasting, vlogger or otherwise), you’ll definitely want to put this one on your radar for 2020.
I have to admit a little bit of a secret… my inner 8 year old self was a bit scared to be there.
I was invited to speak on a panel, sharing what I know about podcasting. That part wasn’t the scary bit. Instead, it was the fear that “I don’t belong here.”
I wouldn’t call myself a ‘Mommy Blogger’ – (prior to attending the conference). The phrase alone made me shudder a bit.
I was afraid I wouldn’t fit in; I wasn’t wearing the right clothes, my selfie game was the equal to my 3rd grade school photo, I would stick out like a sore thumb.
The good news – I was flat out WRONG.
And one of my favorite bits of the conference was when Brené Brown was on stage.
5 lessons from Brené Brown at Mom 2.0 Summit
1. You belong
No really, you do.
In a sea of a thousand women coming from all walks of life, I realized quickly there wasn’t one ‘look’ that was the ‘right’ one. I met women of all shapes and sizes, trans and non-binary included.
I appreciated the diversity in the speaker line-up, and more importantly, in the conversations around the table. It didn’t matter if you had 80k followers on Instagram or 800. You belonged.
So kick that stinkin’ thinkin’ to the curb, and introduce yourself to a complete stranger the next time you’re in a buffet line at a conference. You never know who you’ll meet.
2. Be brave
What you’re doing matters.
Brené Brown reminded me of the importance of telling people (with your outside voice) about your great big, crazy goal. The thing you want to accomplish with your work.
For Brené, it’s all about helping people (worldwide) to open up and have a real conversation about shame, courage and vulnerability. Even if it seems totally, 100% bonkers-out-there, just tell people. Brené happened to tell Laura, a gal who did the school run with her 10 years ago. And guess what, that very same lady is the primary event organizer for Mom 2.0.
So, tell people. Tell everyone.
You never know who’s going to come alongside you and help you get there.
3. “Everything is a debit or a credit”
Brené says this is true about every decision you make in your work and in your life. Before you say yes to an opportunity, take a moment to ask yourself:
“Is this going to be a good or bad experience for me, my primary mission and my brand?”
Sure, you could do more, more, more. But does all that travel and staying up super late, night after night, really serve you in reaching your big quarterly goal?
It’s either a debit to your resources, your mental health or to your wallet… or a credit to various accounts; physically, mentally, financially.
4. “Expectations are resentments waiting to happen”
Actually, Anne Lamott said that.
But the moment Brené made mention of it, you could hear the audience gasp. What clarity! What simplicity in truth! My goodness, how often we forget this.
That quote stuck with me long after Brené’s talk. So, I took some time to process my thoughts on how my unspoken expectations might be doing a number on my relationships with my co-workers, and also within my family. As Brené says, “I can play that movie all the way to the end.”
I can imagine what the outcome would look like if I continue avoid voicing my feelings and thoughts. On the flipside, what could the positive outcome be if I tried something different?
So, play your movie to the end – are you making the best decision here? Could you release your expectations and trust your team to do a great job, nonetheless?
It’s worth a ponder.
5. The 5-C’s in decision making
Brené spoke about the framework she and her team use when making sound business decisions. The 5-C’s are this…
- Color (as in, the ‘What’)
- Context (the ‘Why’)
- Connective Tissue (What it’s connected to)
- Cost of doing it
- Consequence of not doing it
What a brilliant way to drill down to the core details, get the 411 and decide swiftly on opportunities that cross Brené’s desk. She mentioned that she’s a ‘Recovering problematic perfectionist’.
Even 20+ years into her career, Brené finds herself smack dab in the middle of tiny decisions (like what font they use for graphic design, or the exact wording in her email newsletter).
This 5-C’s framework helps Brené to gain clarity fast, and be well informed when making the final decision.
And just one final whisper, just from me to you, dear friend… come in closer.
You do belong.
You are brave.
You have what it takes to make smart decisions in your career. You can figure out when it’s a true debit, and when it’s a life-giving credit.
You know your unspoken expectations are bubbling under the surface. So, get them up and out. Share them with courage and vulnerability. Spark a conversation and see where it takes you. You might be pleasantly surprised.
And you now know how to make educated decisions in five simple steps, just like Brené…
One foot in front of another. Answer The Call to Courage. You have everything you need within arm’s reach.
And remember, as Brené says…
“Vulnerability is hard, and it’s scary, and it feels dangerous, but it’s not as hard, scary or dangerous as getting to the end of our lives and having to ask ourselves, ‘What if I would’ve shown up?’ – ‘What if I would’ve said, I love you?’… Show up. Be seen. Answer the call.”
You can do this, I believe in you.
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