106: How to protect your money through a divorce – with Lisa Linfield

If you’re faced with divorce or a breakup, how do you protect your money and everything you’ve built through the relationship? According to the American Psychological Association, “about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States [end in] divorce.” And if you’re faced with it right now, one of the scariest parts to figure out is the money side.

My special guest today is certified financial planner, Lisa Linfield and she is simplifying how to protect your money through a divorce. Let’s face it… separation and divorce are both emotionally difficult events. Is it possible to have a healthy, amicable breakup? And if you’ve built a small business or accrued assets throughout the course of your marriage, how do you ensure that you keep the things that are most important to you, in the end?

Here’s how.

Lisa Linfield simplifies how to protect your money through a divorce.

In this episode, you will learn:

• What mistakes people tend to make before they decide to split up and how to avoid doing the same
• Why it’s important to understand your financial situation and collect as much  information as early as possible
• What the “5 Whys” technique is and how to implement this throughout the divorce process
• What the two main stages are in the divorce process and a few simple tips to help you navigate both:
  • Negotiating the settlement and
  • Maintaining the settlement agreement
• How small business owners can better ensure that they won’t lose everything in a divorce

Lisa is like having your best girlfriend by your side, helping shed light on what can be a very dark chapter of your story. She talks about the 5 ground rules whilst going through a divorce and they are:

• if you have children, you are with your partner forever
• no one wins in a divorce – “Everyone loses. So don’t go into the negotiations with a mindset of you winning and the other person losing. Because even if you do “win” and they lose, they will know and resent you for it for a long time. There are better and worse outcomes, but this is a challenging process.”
• it’s constantly evolving – in Lisa’s words, “I see divorces where the parents don’t speak to each other for two years, but end up great co-parents and even friends.  And I’ve seen divorces where they start off as the world’s most perfect co-parents and 2 years later are warring in front of the kids.”
• it’s going to take time, effort and emotional discipline – “Dig deep and do the work. And when you feel like giving up, you’re going to need the emotional discipline to talk yourself into doing what you need to do.”
• negotiate with facts, acknowledge the emotions

Friend, I hope this conversation sparks a new idea in you that leads you (and your ex) one step closer to healing and resolution.

Time to #DoTheThing!

Links, books and apps mentioned:

Book: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Brené Brown

Article: Negotiating a settlement (before and during the divorce) – Lisa Linfield

Article: Divorce and money – what to do after the settlement has been agreed – Lisa Linfield

Article: Healthy Divorce: How to make your split as smooth as possible – American Psychological Association

Podcast: Working Women’s Wealth Podcast – Lisa Linfield

Podcast: How to reach financial freedom, featuring Lisa Linfield – The Simplifiers Podcast

Podcast: 1 simple way to overcome the overwhelm – The Simplifiers Podcast

Favorite quotes from this episode:

[04:02] “Start with the end in mind and being very clear of that end. And it’s not just financially, it’s also emotionally.” 

– Lisa

 

[09:48] “Very seldom do marriages suddenly come undone. And if there’s a niggle in your tummy, it is great practice to get on top of your finances, full stop. It’s even more important if you’re considering a divorce.”

– Lisa

 

[11:39] “So, [ask yourself] how much do we own and how much do we owe? And people forget about that is depending on where you live, depends on the rules of the game. And that’s one of the things you have to understand. So the minute you start discussing a divorce, you need to understand what are the rules in my country.” 

– Lisa

 

[13:48] “So if you understand the rules, then you can go in and really get to what it is. Because if 50% of everything is yours, that’s the rule and there is no emotion about it. And so often I see in particular, woman acquiescing and giving up for peace. And I keep saying to them, the law says that you’re entitled to half, therefore do not feel bad. Do not feel greedy and do not feel mean. You have built this together. Even if you stay at home and have a tiny little business that owns relatively nothing compared to your husband’s big business, it is your joint asset… be clear that you must need to understand where your assets are and get someone to really help you negotiate.”

– Lisa

 

[34:58] “And the biggest and most important thing that you can ever remember about negotiating the settlement is that there are two things that you are negotiating: what you have backwards and what you’re going to need forwards. And where the mistake that I see people making is skipping this whole thing.”

– Lisa

About Lisa Linfield

Lisa Linfield – She is a personal finance expert, keynote speaker, course creator and host of her podcast Working Women’s Wealth.  Lisa is a board Certified Financial Planner (CFP) and the CEO of a wealth and investment management business called Southern Pride Wealth.

With over 20 years of financial services experience in the UK and South Africa, she’s been featured in Forbes, Thrive Global, Contemporary Business, Investing for Life, to name a few.  Her goal is to teach 1 million women about money – how to make money, invest it and protect it.