122: How to lead when you’re not ok – with Patrick Regan

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Q: how do you lead when you’re not ok yourself? There’s a myth out there that if you’re a leader in any way, shape or form, you must have it all buttoned up and figured out, at all times… and that’s simply not true. There is a better way.

My special guest today is author Patrick Regan and he’s simplifying how to lead when you’re not ok. I’ll be the first to admit, at times this year, I’ve found myself not having the “right” words or the emotional fortitude to rise up and lead 24/7. So much is happening, so quickly, I’ve found myself needing to put extra focus on my mental wellness by nourishing mind, body, and spirit. Well, Patrick gives us insight on how it’s not an either/or situation. It’s ok to not be ok and still lead in your work, your community, your families, and beyond. Here’s how.


My special guest today is Patrick Regan and he’s simplifying how to lead when you’re not ok.

We tackle all aspects of it, including:

  • As we start to rebuild from a pandemic and systemic racism, what his team have learned from studying past natural disasters as the 3-phase process:
    • Response
    • Recovery
    • Reconstruction
  • What the Japanese practice of Kintsugi is and how we can “discover treasures in life’s scars”
  • Why “self-compassion” is the first step in helping leaders reduce anxiety and panic
  • His five simple pathways to better wellbeing for when you’re not ok
    • Connect
    • Be active
    • Take notice
    • Keep learning
    • Give back
  • …and finally, what role entrepreneurs and small business owners play in the recovery phase. He shares his hope for the future as we pick up the pieces and start again, Kintsugi style.

Patrick and his team want to see a world where “mental and emotional health is understood and accepted with safe and supportive communities for everyone to grow and flourish.” It’s time we stop putting a filter on life and start coming together to discuss mental wellbeing as a whole. Instead of hiding the scars, let’s bring them to the forefront. This is where deep healing can be found.

I hope this conversation sparks a new light inside you.

Q: Are you trying to figure out how to lead (right now) when you’re not ok? If yes, this one is for you.

It’s time to #DoTheThing!

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My challenge for you this week:

How are you going to take what you’ve learned in today’s episode and learn how to lead when you’re not ok this week? What’s one thing you’ll do differently in your work? Share it with me, privately or publicly. Snap a photo of you doing the thing, and tag @thesimplifiers on Instagram for added accountability and support!

Links, books and apps mentioned:

Book: Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life – Susan David, PhD

Book: Honesty Over Silence: It’s OK Not To Be OK – Patrick Regan with Liza Hoeksma

Podcast: Forgiveness – Kintsugi Hope Podcast

Blog: Your thoughts are not your friend – Kintsugi Hope

Podcast: How to heal from anxiety, featuring Uma Sanghvi  – The Simplifiers Podcast

Podcast: How to squash your stinkin’ thinkin’ – The Simplifiers Podcast

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About Patrick Regan OBE

Patrick Regan – He is the CEO and co-founder of Kintsugi Hope, a UK based charity aiming to make a difference to peoples’ mental wellbeing.

He’s travelled to over thirty countries working with and on behalf of the poorest communities. In 2010, he received the Mayor of London Peace Award for his contribution towards peace and justice and was also awarded an OBE (Order of the British Empire) from her Majesty the Queen for services to young people.

He is the author of five books, including his latest, Honesty Over Silence: It’s OK Not To Be OK, exploring the importance of holding onto our faith in challenging times.

Where Patrick hangs out online:

Website: kintsugihope.com  

Twitter: @PatrickReganKH

Patrick’s vote for the perfect guest on The Simplifiers Podcast:

Robert Dixon – He is the headteacher of a Trench Town school in Jamaica called Operation Restoration, focusing on serving local teenagers exposed to chronic violence and poverty through courage, determination, and most of all love.

Patrick Regan

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