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095: How to invite Real Love into your life – with Terri Cole

By December 10, 2019 December 11th, 2019 The Simplifiers Podcast

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We are continuing on in this season of self-reflection and this time, let’s talk about love… Real Love. When your love tank is full, you’re in the flow, your business is buzzing, and life is good. However, when you feel detached from Real Love, I find that’s when hope diminishes, your cash flow starts to tank, and everything just feels hard. Am-I-right? So let’s have an honest conversation about Love! 

My special guest today is Terri Cole and she’s simplifying how to invite Real Love into your life. If you’re finding yourself repeating negative patterns that seem to always leave you in feeling ‘less than’ or ‘not enough’ in your relationships, Terri shares insight on the root cause and how to shift it.

Here’s how.

Terri Cole simplifies how to invite Real Love into your life.

In this episode, you will learn:

  • Why she believes that women who over-deliver and are over-functioning, people pleasers tend to fall into unhealthy relationship habits
  • Why it’s important to “define our racket,” taking an assessment of the limiting beliefs and anchors that might be lurking in our mind, currently 
  • Terri’s “5 Pillars of Self-Mastery” that will help us invite Real Love into our lives:
    • self-awareness 
    • self-knowledge
    • self-acceptance 
    • self-compassion
    • self-love
  • How to create positive outcomes in your life in 3 simple steps:
      • see it
      • say it
      • sense it
  • What our “Downloaded Love Blueprint” is and how to discover your own today
  • How to honor our own boundaries and stop slipping into codependency
  • How to spot a narcissist and avoid getting into a relationship with one

This conversation was a doozy for me, I’ll be honest. But I hope my courage is to peel back the curtain, revealing a bit more of my personal story, and that I ask the questions that might also be sitting on your heart today. 

Conversations about Real Love are not easy, but necessary.

I hope it will help you and I get one step closer to healing… and to feeling more empowered, liberated, and that we both realize, you and I, are closer together than ever before.

#DoTheThing!

My challenge for you this week:

How are you going to take what you’ve learned in today’s episode and will examine what role you are playing in your relationships this week, in an effort to invite more Real Love into your life? How can you incorporate this into your work? Share it with me, privately or publicly. Snap a photo of you doing the thing, and tag @thesimplifiers on Instagram for added accountability and support!

Links, books and apps mentioned:

Book: Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts – Harriet Lerner PhD 

Book: The Dance of Deception: A Guide to Authenticity and Truth-Telling in Women’s Relationships – Harriet Lerner PhD 

Resource: Thrive Hive – Terri’s monthly subscription group to connect with like-minded women on the same journey as you

Freebie: Raise Your Love Vibe 5-Day Challenge with Terri Cole

Podcast: How to create your life with intention, featuring Danielle LaPorte – The Simplifiers Podcast

Podcast: Are you codependent or caring? – The Terri Cole Show

Favorite quotes from this episode:

[06:20] “I have decades of experience that shows me and thousands of clients just like you… that there’s only so long that we can be kind of last on our list because what ends up happening, whether you mean to or not, you eventually become a martyr.”

– Terri

[09:47] “You’re not part of the problem. You are the problem, because it’s your life. So let’s take the blame vibe off of that and really pivot towards how incredibly empowering that actually is. If you reframe it, you are the common denominator in your life. It can only be about you, right? A relationship itself is 50% you and 50% the other person, but who you are attracting on a regular basis can literally only be about you.

– Terri

[14:23] “Love is a choice, not a need, not a prison.”

– Terri

[24:16] “Three questions to consider [when you get triggered…] 1) Who does this person remind me of? 2) Where have I felt like this before? 3) Who do I become? (like my mother) …and who do they become? (like my dad, brother, ex-horrible boss)”

– Terri

[35:53] “[I thought,] I’m just ambitious. I realized through my own process that I wasn’t running towards something (like I told myself), yet I was running away from something.” 

– Terri

[36:35] “Stop thinking you should be doing more or better or be thinner or be prettier or be more successful or have more money. Stop being mean to yourself. Have compassion for where you are, for how much you’ve done, for how capable, how kind, and how amazing you are.” 

– Terri

Win 30 days of accountability coaching with Mary! (valued at $2000 USD)

I’m thrilled at the response we’ve received on our accountability offer for January 2020! 

My calendar is getting gobbled up (in a good way!) and I’ve only got 3 more spots if you’re interested in hiring me as your accountability coach.

Kicking off the new year right, you and I are going to be running partners. You set your one BIG goal and I will help you achieve it.

How?

From January 2-31, 2020, we will schedule in twice weekly, quick calls where I will give you one simple, actionable idea that will get you one step closer to making it happen… and ultimately, help you attain your goal.

That’s it.

No heavy lifting. No big outlay of money, time, or resources.

You #dothething, I hold you to it.

It’s simplicity at its finest.

Maybe what’s been holding you back (in the past) is that no one was holding you to it?

Choose the Gold or Platinum option by Friday, December 20, 2019 and I will choose one person (at random) to WIN a spot for free! Drawing will be held on Saturday, December 21st, so don’t delay.

I’m lacing up my sneakers and ready to run alongside you as you #dothething.

Reserve your spot here - GOLD level
Reserve your spot here - PLATINUM level

About Terri

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and global leading expert in mindfulness, meditation, relationships, and wellbeing.

For two decades, Terri has worked with some of the world’s most well-known personalities from international pop stars to Fortune 500 CEOs. 

She empowers over 100,000 women weekly through her platform, online community + popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show.

Where Terri hangs out online:

Website: terricole.com

Instagram: @terricole

Twitter: @terri_cole

Facebook: @terricoleLCSW

YouTube: @terricoleNY

Podcast: The Terri Cole Show

Terri’s vote for the perfect guest on The Simplifiers Podcast:

Lara Riggio – An energy medicine expert based in New York City, she helps clients overcome chronic pain, physical pain and emotional stress through Eden Energy Medicine Exercises and other healing therapies.

Terri Cole Real Love

Watch the video version of the episode

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