166: How to stick to your boundaries – with Terri Cole

By April 20, 2021April 26th, 2021The Simplifiers Podcast

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Are you finding it harder and harder these days to stick to your boundaries? Whether it’s a lack of physical space at your house (hello, homeschooling)… or a lack of breathing room and space in your calendar, causing you to overwork, strive, and feel flustered with it all. Or maybe it’s a Boundary Destroyer in your life, which is a whole other ball of wax.  

My special guest today is psychotherapist Terri Cole and she’s simplifying how to stick to your boundaries. In her book, Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free is a must-read for me and so many girlfriends of mine as we are looking to break free from the nonsense. And more importantly, live a more authentic, fulfilled life by mastering how we create and maintain healthy boundaries.

Here’s how. 


My special guest today is Terri Cole and she’s simplifying how to stick to your boundaries.

We tackle and simplify all aspects of it, including:

  • Through her research, what she found are some common myths that women believe when setting boundaries 
  • What the psychological aspect is behind why we DON’T set boundaries for ourselves? What’s happening, really?
  • How to understand what your internal ‘Boundary Blueprint’ is and how to communicate our desired (more positive) boundaries are to other people
  • In a work setting, what to do if you’re afraid you’ll be seen as a “bitch” or if you fear being fired by your client after you state your boundaries
  • And ultimately, at home… what you must do when it’s a family member (a parent, spouse or child) who you cannot remove from your life entirely and you’re having to constantly state and restate your boundaries all the time?

Terri is a brilliant bright light in this field of study and she’s going to show us a better way of sticking to our boundaries. In our conversation today, you’ll gain a glimmer into her work, teaching each of us how to stop abandoning ourselves for the sake of others without guilt or drama. But rather, she shows us a way that healthy boundaries can help us gain better communication and better relationships… more satisfaction, abundance, and success. All of it is a result of doing the work, gaining clarity on our subconscious beliefs, and sticking to our boundaries.

Q: Are you ready to learn how to stick to your boundaries better? If yes, this one is for you.

It’s time to #DoTheThing!

<What’s catching my eye this week>

My challenge for you this week:

How are you going to take what you’ve learned in today’s episode and try to better communicate and stick to your boundaries this week? What’s one thing you’ll do differently? Share it with me, privately or publicly. Snap a photo of you doing the thing, and tag @thesimplifiers on Instagram for added accountability and support!

Links, books and apps mentioned:

Book: Boundary Boss: The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen, and (Finally) Live Free – Terri Cole

Freebie: Do Less with Boundaries Guide – helping you identify where in your life you are expending additional time and energy doing for others and give you tips, scripts, and strategies to bring more balance into your life and relationships – Terri Cole

Book: Sex Points: Reclaim Your Sex Life with the Revolutionary Multi-point System – Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus

Resource: Free telephone counseling hotlines in the United States – Open Counseling

Resource: Free telephone counseling hotlines in the United Kingdom – Open Counseling

Podcast: How to set healthy boundaries, featuring Nancy Levin – The Simplifiers Podcast

Podcast: How to invite Real Love into your life, featuring Terri Cole – The Simplifiers Podcast

Podcast: How to squash your limiting self-beliefs – The Simplifiers Podcast

Get Unstuck with The Simplifiers Morning Prompts

We’ve got a free resource we’d love to share with you!

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So, start your day off right, download The Simplifiers Morning Prompts.

It’s a free daily worksheet that helps you laser-focus in on what needs to get done today, what could trip you up and how you’re going to stay on track. 5 questions, 7 minutes… this worksheet will help you SIMPLIFY!


About Terri Cole

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist and global empowerment expert and the author of Boundary Boss, her latest book. For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs looking to  achieve sustainable change. 

She inspires over a quarter of a million people weekly through her blog, her signature courses, her social media platforms, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show.

Where Terri hangs out online:

Website: terricole.com

Instagram: @terricole

Twitter: @terri_cole

Facebook: @terricoleLCSW

YouTube: @terricoleNY

Podcast: The Terri Cole Show

Terri’s vote for the perfect guest on The Simplifiers Podcast:

Tory L. Eletto, LMFT – She is a licensed marriage and family therapist, focusing on couple & family dynamics and Brene Brown’s Resiliency Theory, based in New York .

Terri Cole

Watch the video version of the episode

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