We spend our days balancing a billion different things in our professional and personal lives. So why do we feel like it’s not enough? And how can we get rid of the guilt?
Here are my thoughts.
We feel guilty because work takes us away from time spent with our families.
Guilty because we haven’t gotten through today’s to-do list, or yesterdays, or last week’s…
Then there’s the guilt about neglecting friends, not reading the latest best-selling business book, not revamping your website, networking events you’ve missed, spending a night binge watching a Netflix series…
So, how do we squash the anxiety and get rid of the guilt? I’m learning, it’s simpler than you think.
A couple of months ago, I was feeling exhausted – but not from workload.
I was being unbelievably unproductive so I couldn’t understand why I also felt so overwhelmed. Turns out it was the guilt factor. Even when I was procrastinating by watching TV, I was never relaxing because I felt guilty about all of the things I “should” have been doing.”
Sometimes we need that nagging voice in our heads to motivate us to get things done but a lot of the time, we’re just causing ourselves damage and it’s counterproductive.
Here are 3 ways to shift your mindset to help you deal with the feeling that you’re not “enough” or that you’re not doing “enough.”
1) Mary says “STOP SHOULDING ALL OVER YOURSELF!”
This is a top tip from our CEO – Mary Baird-Wilcock. Start paying attention to your vocabulary – how often do you say (out loud or internally) that you should be doing something?
Start questioning WHY you think you should be doing those things. Should you go to the gym more? OR… COULD you go for hikes or maybe do something active with your family?
Should you be reading the trendiest business books and spending time staging beautiful Instagram photos for your company while trying to cram in multiple networking events a week? OR… could you focus on the highest yielding tasks that you know bring in the money? Could you sign up to Blinkist and simply get all the key takeaways from books you think might be useful?
Right now all the influencers on social media seem to be saying we should be drinking celery juice every morning. I could… But I hate the taste! Plus there’s no scientific evidence to back up it’s claims as a miracle drink, so I won’t! And I’ll feel good as I drink my water and coffee instead of feeling guilty.
2) Create Boundaries
With work, this means getting focused. Set specific times during your work day to check your email and social media so you don’t get distracted. Say like, 10-10:30am every morning and then once again from 4-4:30pm every afternoon. Turn off notifications – no tweet is that urgent. Prioritise high yielding tasks and focus on achieving these before moving onto less important work.
Try to keep work hours separate from the rest of your life. As someone who often works from home, I know, I know… This is easier said than done. However, it feels amazing knowing that when my time is up, I’m switched off from work for the day and I can enjoy my Netflix binge or night out guilt free.
You don’t want to be that parent that is checking emails instead of paying attention to your kid’s latest creative endeavour. So create boundaries in your personal life, too. For example, don’t reply to emails outside of your work hours if at all possible. You don’t want to set unhealthy expectations for other people.
If you know that 8pm-9pm is the time you purposefully set aside to slow down your brain, maybe read a book or just do nothing, you are going to enjoy it so much more and feel more relaxed if you book this time in beforehand. This is your ME TIME. Honor it and give yourself this gift.
3) Focus on the Benefits
If you feel guilty because you’re spending so much time working instead of with your family, or the other way around – flip the script.
Instead of thinking about what you might be missing out on, focus on what you’re gaining. If it’s work, what are your working towards? How will this benefit your family? Will this big sales push bring you the money needed for your next family vacation together? Will this short term sprint pay off in dividends in the near future? In the same way, when you’re with your family think about how it’s a chance to recharge. This time is precious and should be honored. All the while, knowing you’ve given your family your undivided attention when you were with them.
What you are already doing is pretty amazing. Focus on that, instead of what you “should” be doing.
Make 2019 your best year ever with advice, guidance and tips from the expert guests who feature in The Simplifiers Podcast. Find all out episodes HERE
